You can’t create peace by focusing on eliminating war.
You can’t create health by focusing on eliminating disease.
You can’t create wealth by focusing on eliminating poverty.
You can’t create security by focusing on eliminating crime.
You can’t line up with what you want by focusing on what you don’t want. Why???
Because physical reality is an extension of your own Consciousness. Everything you experience is created by your own focus. And so when you focus on eliminating something, you *may* very well eliminate that one thing, but you are also simultaneously creating more things to eliminate.
All That Is includes *ALL* That Is—everything. And It always will. But your focus determines which aspects of All That Is, which versions of reality that you experience. So focus on what is preferred and forget the rest; you won’t eliminate what is unwanted because you can’t, but you *will* extract from All That Is the version of reality that doesn’t include those things because your focus is no longer causing them to be projected in your world. Just a friendly reminder.
Tresa Rae ♥ betterfeelingthought.com
It’s about that time again! I’m ready for another journey/challenge and even more so I’m ready to align myself with what I desire—which, among other things, is to easily and joyfully receive two million dollars free and clear.
This two million dollars was one of the things I set forth to manifest (and didn’t) in the last 100 Day Challenge, and it’s still hanging over my head—not in the sense that it’s bothering me that I didn’t align with it, but because I still desire it and I know that, as Abraham says, ‘If I want it I can have it,’ so there’s no reason to continue holding myself apart from it.
In reflecting on why I didn’t manifest this two million dollars last time around, it comes down to the same thing everything comes down to: my beliefs.
I was sort of brainstorming what those limiting beliefs are a few moments ago, and here is what I came up with:
- Longshot/fantasy to receive that much money, especially as a gift.
- Didn’t work before, so why would it work now?
- Can’t get exactly what I want when I want it.
- I don’t know anyone with that kind of money to just give away.
- I certainly can’t earn that much money in a short amount of time.
- Winning the money comes with consequences/publicity; someone could try to harm me to get the money.
- General belief in lack.
- Too big or too much to manifest (belief in limitation).
In looking at the types of beliefs that are floating through my mind day in and day out, it’s no wonder that I didn’t manifest this money in the past, so in this journey I plan to use EFT to release these beliefs while instilling and reinforcing beliefs that counter them and support the having of my desire:
+ If I am able to imagine something then it is not out of my reach because physical reality is just a projection of my inner world.
+ I am literally not the same person I was in the past, I’m a completely different version; a version that has learned a lot and released a lot of resistance since the last time I approached this desire. So, whatever happened (or didn’t happen) in the past is completely irrelevant to my now.
+ Limiting belief is the only reason I don’t experience having exactly what I want how and when I want it. If I change the belief then physical reality has no choice but to reflect that change.
+ I don’t need to consciously know of the person who might give me the money at this time, if that’s how I am to line up with having it. All I need to know is that if I can imagine it then I can experience it in physical reality. The hows and whos will take care of themselves.
+ I don’t need to consciously know how I would earn that much money at once, if that’s how I am to line up with having it. All I need to know is that if I can imagine it then I can experience it in physical reality, and the hows will take care of themselves.
+ The only reason something negative would come of winning the money is if I believe that to be so; if I change the belief then physical reality has no choice but to reflect that change.
+ I am an Infinite Being living in an Infinite Universe. The only reason I experience lack is a belief in lack. If I change the belief to one of infinite abundance, then the experience must change as well.
+ The only limitation in terms of the amount of money I can receive (or anything else for that matter) is based on my own belief in limitation. If I change the belief then physical reality has no choice but to reflect that change.
In addition to changing my beliefs about receiving and having this two million dollars, I am also going to be focusing on the second part of that Abe quote I mentioned earlier: “…if you get out of the way.”
This is something I haven’t yet mastered (obviously, or else I’d be out spending my money right now instead of writing about manifesting it LOL), so I’m looking forward to further releasing Ego from it’s previously designated duties of constantly watching physical reality for evidence of lack, limitation, and general not having of what I desire. Even if that doesn’t line me up with the money, it will certainly line me up with more inner peace, which is itself worth its weight in gold…if it weighed anything, that is.
The good news is, this should be relatively easy to do, or at least easier than it has been in the past, because during this past month or so I’ve been doing a lot of releasing of resistance to what-is and the possibility that it will never get that much better, financially anyway.
I know that sounds a bit grim and I certainly don’t expect things to not improve, I had to go there so that I could see that it doesn’t really matter, it’s not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean I can’t be happy.
Doing so has helped me take the pressure off of manifesting more money, which is allowing me to allow more rather than try to force physical reality into submission, which has pretty much been my M.O. before then. And I’m starting to see improvement, so it must have been necessary.
As a result, with this particular journey/challenge I believe I’ll be able to sit back and allow much more, to let the grid fill itself in, to stay general (or at least go general when details start feeling crappy), and to approach it more from a perspective of fun than that of pressure and desperate need.
In that same vein, I’m not going to put a time limit on this journey. When I’m lined up with it, I’ll see it, so whenever that is is good enough for me…because it kinda has to be, because I’m not going to see it a minute sooner than that.
Well, that’s where I’m at, and I’m looking forward to seeing where this journey takes me.
I appreciate you all for allowing me to share with you and you with me; being connected with my Soul Fam is not just worth its weight in gold, it’s absolutely priceless.
I have some wonderful results and an update on the progress of my journey of living my Knowing in general.
Yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown, or as I like to call it, FBS (Fussy Baby Syndrome): I had been “working” my butt off for the past few weeks in “trying” to change my financial reality by EFT-ing my beliefs around the subject, to no avail. Not even the slightest reflection of shifting in my physical reality.
Meanwhile, the bills are still not getting paid, overdraft charges are accruing, etc. etc. etc., and by yesterday (Wednesday) I was down to my last few cigs and bit of food and water, knowing I don’t get paid until tomorrow (Friday) and knowing there would be a gap in there where I would be totally without my basic needs.
And for those non-smokers that don’t know any better, cigarettes are a basic need. Until I tap that away, but that’s not my highest priority right now—always having more than enough is, so that, amongst other things, when I am ready to quit smoking I am doing so by conscious choice and because it is my highest excitement in the moment to do so, not because of lack and inability to align myself with what I prefer (which is to continue to smoke for now).
Anyhoo, I had a nice screaming session, which quickly turned into tears, which quickly turned into a desperate cry for help addressed to my Soul Family in the Law of Attraction Results Group on FB.
Which quickly turned into more tears, but tears of relief, and tears of awe at the beautiful love and friendship and support that I am surrounded with—that I aligned myself with.
That would be Result #1. And thank You for that. Always.
After the relief that came from connecting with my Fam, I was left with only a tinge of FBS. I was still annoyed at the fact that I KNOW that all versions of reality exist and are equally accessible, including all versions of myself, including the version of myself that has all the money I desire, whenever I desire it, and receives it in ways I prefer to receive it.
I know it’s all done, I know it’s all real and the versions of reality that I do prefer and am not experiencing are just as real as those that I don’t prefer and am experiencing, just sitting here waiting for me to activate them with my belief—>focus—>feelings—>expectation. I know this, I know this, I know this!!!
So why the F*&CK do I continue to CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE what I don’t prefer? Because at this level of Knowing, it is a conscious choice, and that frustrates the living hell out of me.
But instead of wallowing in the frustration and exacerbating my FBS back into its full-blown state, I chose to use where I was at to re-evaluate my approach and perspective, knowing that even the least preferred experiences contain within them the opportunity for transformation and eventual movement into what is preferred.
In doing so I had many a realization (or remembrance, really):
1. Even though I have long recognized that action is just a placebo and that belief is the real cause of any effect (reflection) in physical reality, I was still action-ing my way into the reality I prefer by tapping my brains out.
2. Physical action, whether it be working or tapping or whatever, is a fine way of achieving results, because it shores up the belief in the preferred reality and thus affects change (because the belief is affected and is then reflected as results in physical reality).
So why wasn’t this working for me?
Well, I realized that in all my tapping, I was “trying” to FORCE reality into submission. I was NEEDING reality to change, and placing conditions on my happiness, my well-being as a result, which is absolutely contrary to my Knowing.
Because what I Know is that I, we, are Source. Period. No separation, not even an extension, aspect, or reflection. We Are Source. Period. I am Source experiencing Myself through the personality-ego structure that is Tresa Rae.
And as Source, I Am everything, having and not-having. So I do not NEED anything, much less need anything to change. I chose to experience Myself as the unique personality-ego structure that is Tresa Rae for the sake of the experience. Period. Whether that experience is preferred or not preferred, I Love It All. Because I Am Love, and It All is Me.
Using this Knowing, I was able to convince Ego that accepting and even finding Love for what-is doesn’t mean accepting failure or accepting that I can’t have things EXACTLY the way I prefer them; rather, it is the very key that opens the door to having everything I prefer, and how and when I prefer it.
I then had to decide whether to give up my previous tapping and visualization routine that was geared toward creating the experience I prefer. Do I chuck it all and resign myself to living a life of “I’ll take whatever I get and just make the best of it?”
No, of course not. The purpose of the ego-personality structure is to choose what’s preferred; because Source has no preference. And so if my purpose as Tresa Rae is to choose and prefer in my own unique way, well, it wouldn’t make any sense to do so if I didn’t then have the ability to experience those preferences.
But there is a big difference between preferring and choosing for their own sake—for the fun and freedom of Knowing our Power and using it to creatively express our own unique preferences—and doing so because we think we NEED to experience our preferences in order to be Complete.
So I decided that I would continue my lining-up-with-what-I-prefer routine, but I would do so with the intention of lining up for its own sake—because I Know I can and because I want to live my Knowing.
But the lining up and then watching for physical reality to change and then getting angry/disappointed/defeated because it hasn’t yet, that’s no longer a part of the program. That physical reality will inevitably change to reflect the instilling of my preferred beliefs and releasing of the limiting ones based on fear and separation is secondary to the fact that, more than anything, I just want to live and breathe the Truth of Who I Am, fully secure in that Knowing at all times, regardless of what is being reflected in physical reality at any given moment.
I want more than anything to release my dependence on physical reality once and for all, and to live always in the joy and freedom of my Knowing, and to Deliberately Create my reality solely for the fun of that means of expression.
After I came to this decision, I did a few rounds of tapping, but this time I did so not to change reality because I can’t stand reality the way it is; I did so to release the NEED for reality to change, and to release the dependence on physical reality for my happiness.
And consequentially, I rid myself of that last hint of Fussy Baby Syndrome, which was replaced with a full-blown case of Inner Peace.
The realizations, relief, and re-framing of my approach to physical reality, that would be Result #2.
The Day After: After my a-ha-ing and releasing and re-structuring last night, I had made peace with the fact that I didn’t have the money to have the things that keep me at a basic level of comfort for today, so I planned a day of lounging and meditating and tapping any anxieties away that may spring up from the not-having. I also periodically reminded myself that I always have what I need and that I Am, in fact, everything I need, so I never really need anything.
So this morning I woke up feeling pretty good, and even though I was prepared to make the best of what-is, I felt inspired to count the change I had in my purse; I thought maybe I would have enough for a super-cheap pack of cigs, and maybe even a gallon of water so that I don’t have to ration what’s left in the fridge. I started counting and found that I almost had enough. I thought there must be some change laying around that I hadn’t yet scavenged the last time(s) I found myself in this situation.
I checked all the usual places and came up empty. But then I thought to look in the guest-bedroom-turned-temporary-storage-room and came across a purse I haven’t used in over a year.
I felt like I had just won the lottery!!! I counted out all the change and I ended up having enough for the 2nd choice brand of cigarettes I usually smoke when my 1st choice brand isn’t available (or I don’t quite have enough for it, as they’re a little cheaper), AND a gallon of water, AND a two liter of Diet Coke, which, again may not seem like a requirement to most people, but for the sake of remaining at a basic level of comfort and “normalcy,” it is to me.
Having no shame left in my game, I headed over to the local Winn-Dixie, change in tow, and exchanged it for a voucher in the Coin Star machine, which I used to get everything I wanted.
AND I had 75 cents left over!!! MORE than enough!!!
Thank goodness for spare change! And, although I was fully prepared to count out every last penny at the counter in order to get what I wanted, thank goodness for Coin Star so that I didn’t have to, which minimized the humiliation of the situation (okay, maybe there’s a little bit of shame left in my game)!
Physical reality reflecting a state of having, and even having more than enough—that, my friends, would be Result #3.
Result #4 is that my book is writing itself at this point. The book is about the nature of reality—my perspective on it anyway—and how to create the reality we prefer. The first part of the book is done, it’s just a sharing of my Knowing. But the second part, well, I feel like in order to tell others that they can use that Knowing to shape their reality in the way they prefer (and how to do so), it only makes sense that I practice what I preach and demonstrate just how that can be accomplished in my own life. And so, my life has pretty much turned into a lab, and every experience an experiment in Deliberate Creation.
And every experiment is proving to be successful, because as I’ve (hopefully) illustrated here today, even those less preferred experiences yield results that bring me, and my eventual readers, a step closer to mastering physical reality—even if that experience is just a lesson in “what NOT to do.”
So my friends, that is where I’m at, and as always, it’s a pretty darn good place to be. I want to thank you all once again for allowing me to share my journey with you, and for your sharing with me. I love you all so much and am so grateful that we chose to co-create this version of reality together.
Oh, and in the spirit of not having the lessons get lost in the personal narrative, there are a few key points that I derived from this experience, and that beyond the experience itself is what I most want to share with all of you:
1. You are Source experiencing Itself as the personality-ego structure of you.
2. As Source, you experience for the sake of experience, you Love all of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
3. As personality-ego structure, your role is to prefer and choose. Preferring is good. Choosing is good. Ego is good.
4. But because there is no separation between you and You, you do not NEED your preferences. And, in fact, you already have them. You are them. So any beliefs you have that cause you to feel, focus on, expect, or experience anything less than having and Being what you prefer, are false. Get rid of them.
5. And how do you marry your Source Self with your Personality-ego self? How do you choose and prefer and expect to experience everything you desire while not letting what-is drive you crazy in the meantime? By detaching from the reflection, the physical reality. By releasing the need. By lining up with the Truth of Who You Are for its own sake, THEN Deliberately Creating for its own sake—because you can, and because it’s fun.
That is all…for now.
Here is a link to the Barbara Marciniak/Plieadians seminar I mentioned on Day 10. Happy manifesting!
Oh the most beautiful day of my life thus far. Feeling so so so so good today! That steady stream of good feelings I intended for myself yesterday is flowing through me and it is just incredible to appreciate every little thing, to notice the few negative thoughts that have surfaced here and there and quickly change them to positives (or just laugh them off entirely), and just overall enjoy every aspect of my experience. Truly this is how I desire to feel most of the time–not an intense, short-lived manic kind of good feeling, but high and easy and steady. Very nice.
As most of you know, I have intended to receive two million dollars by July 2, 2012 (I started on that one early), and have been preparing both mentally and materially for it to arrive. The cool thing about that is, I haven’t been preparing from a conscious place of “If I prepare for this, it will come;” rather, a thought will occur to me very organically about this or that aspect of having money and then I will explore that idea further.
For example, today I learned about CDARS, which is a network of banks that oh so conveniently works together to keep your money FDIC insured above the 250k limit. So, instead of manually putting a couple hundred thousand in 10 accounts and then having to manage all those accounts myself, they spread the money around in the network for me, and I only have one account to keep track of. And, in using their locator feature, I found a participating bank that has locations both here and in Naples, where I’ll be moving. So that’s done. It was great fun exploring this from a perspective of really needing this type of service, and it’s great relief that I know exactly where to put my money when I receive it.
Something else I learned is that each of us (in the US) has a lifetime gift allowance of $5 million dollars, which means we can give up to that amount w/o paying a gift tax on it. I like knowing that, as I expect to receive many more millions after the first two, and I plan on spreading it around. I also like knowing that in terms of receiving cash gifts, there is no limit, and there is no tax paid by the recipient whatsoever. Previously I thought that gifts counted as income and were taxed as such, but that is not the case. I love the idea of receiving my two million dollars as a gift free and clear…not that I’m not open to other ways, but it does feel like the quickest and easiest and free-est, so it feels good to think about it coming in that way.
And then I thought, what if I just kept receiving 2 million dollar gift after 2 million dollar gift, year after year? I was reminded of one of my favorite Barbara Marciniak seminars ever (and by far one of my favorite LOA teachings ever) in which the Pleiadians say something like ‘the only reason you don’t go into your back yard tomorrow and dig up a treasure chest filled with all the money you desire is because you don’t believe that you can.’ So true and powerful–maybe I’ll post that seminar again here, it’s just filled with gems like this.
Anyhoo, the moral of this story is that I’m not just preparing for $2 million to come into my experience by July 2, 2012; what I’m doing, I realized today, is expanding my wealth consciousness—I’m learning to think like a wealthy person, which as we know is the first step (and only step, really) in truly being a wealthy person.
And as far as everything else–my daily routine, website, other work, etc. etc.–continuing to make sweet, delicious progress, feeling good about myself, feeling good about what I’m doing, and filled with the absolute Knowing that more good feeling experience is on its way into my life. Love you all and so happy to be involved with all of you.
Today’s day 9, right?
Well, after my extreme, almost manic high in the am yesterday, I came down and have been feeling just slightly under amazing ever since. I’m about to fix all that (actually, spending time here with you is part of fixing that), getting bored with this feeling and you know, you just can’t keep a Genius Creator down for long. My intention: to feel a STEADY flow of good feeling emotions most of the time.
And I’m seeing that slightly under-ness in my experience: Delayed payment, delay in receiving my tags which expire today, low productivity, blah, blah, blah. God why do I even attempt to write that crap any more, it’s so exhausting in its not-really-Who-I-Am-ness!
Anyhoo, I really don’t care about what is, because I know better. I know that as soon as I do what I’m about to do to get back up to the feeling place I prefer to be, things will start moving again and I’ll get what I need when I need it. I always do. Always. And I always do what I need to do when I need to do it. Always. So that’s what I’m going to go do now, and for the rest of my good feeling, productive Day 9.
But not before I remind us how freakin’ fantastic we all are! And that I love us and this journey that we’re on together! Oh how we’re growing! Oh how we’re shifting! Oh how we’re feeling better and better moment by moment and oh, the better feeling things that are being reflected in our experiences as a result! Yaaaay Us!!!! Muah! Super Happy Love Joy Fun Day 9 to All of Us!!!
I’m just starting my day but I am so certain in my KNOWING that it’s going to be super amazing that I can already tell you how it’s going to go (hint: perfectly!). But first, a result: The high probability for financial contrast this week that I wrote about yesterday was completely eliminated in the very same day. Ya freakin’ hoooooo!!!! Now on to allowing even more abundance to flow my way. It’s just getting so easy and natural feeling to expect what I want to have happen (instead of chronically worrying about the unwanted happening, thereby creating exactly that) that I’m really able to relax and have so much more fun with the creative process. I just love this!
I’m also back in the zone for the website project I had mentioned, made a lot of headway on that yesterday and it’s going to be the central focus of my day today again, as well as every day forward til it’s completed..which will be very, very soon. Yay!!!
Today I intend to enjoy every aspect of my experience, to think about what is wanted, and to expect the best for myself and others. And even though the website is my primary focus today, I’m still allowing myself time to take care of myself, my house, my pets, my rituals & daily routine, and my FB Family Fun Time, rather than being glued to the computer for 16hrs virtually non-stop like the crazy person I once created myself to be…because I know that I create time and energy as I experience it, and as long as I’m in the V. (and I am, I sooooo am!!!), there’s plenty of that time and energy stuff to go around, and what portion of that time and energy I do dedicate to working will yield maximum results.
Oh, you know what else is kinda cool? I noticed that my FB page that I’ve all but abandoned has grown to over 1000 likes! So hilarious! And I think that’s a little driftwood telling me that maybe I’ll feel inspired to revisit it & the blog once I finish this back-logged website stuff I’ve got going on here and have a little more room in my energy field for other points of focus. Either way, I know many people who “strive” for likes on their page, and this shows that the Universe really doesn’t need our help…especially that “striving” kind of help…which, as we know, really isn’t helpful at all.
Feeling so much love for you all and pure ecstasy in the experience of sharing this journey with all of you! MUAH!!! LOVE YOU!!!
I’m checking in early since I already know how this day has and will continue to go for me: Absolutely Perfectly!!!
Continuing on my daily rituals and routines and loving every minute of it; progress on my website project, financial progress from my other job via good feeling interactions w/good feeling clients, joyful mood sustained throughout the day and night, plenty of energy to do what I need to do, plenty of time to do what I need to do, plenty of time to play, playing in everything I do, good feeling body, good feeling mind, good feeling heart, good feeling life, living a good feeling now thereby creating an even better feeling tomorrow.
I notice that when I see something unwanted or less preferred in my body or environment or circumstance, it’s become incredibly easy to instantly remind myself that it’s no big deal, it’s just a reflection of past thoughts/beliefs/expectations. Then I redirect by asking myself “What thoughts/expectations/beliefs would create what is preferred?” and I go into a little mini-visualization/mental reminder of Who I Really Am and what my life, body, etc. is really like. I love that it’s becoming so effortless, habitual even, to redirect my thoughts and get back to a better feeling place, instead of giving so much emotional energy (read: Creative Power) to the less preferred version of things through relentless worry, fear, disappointment, etc. etc. etc. I feel like it’s finally sinking in and it feels great!!!
I wanted to share a little commentary/reminder today that was provoked in watching Lauren G’s video yesterday: She said she wasn’t sure if she manifested the magazine she really wanted (and received) through LOA or just had inadvertently signed up for the subscription, and I was reminded how we often separate those experiences that we physically create and those that come to us by surprise or synchronicity…but the reality is, it’s always LOA all the time, regardless of the vehicle by which the manifestation comes to us. And whether that vehicle is the unexpected synchronous events that seem to magically line up for us through no effort of our own or a labor intensive process we directly embark on is going to be dependent on which is the path of least resistance for us, based on our beliefs and expectations pertaining to the given situation. But either way, it is always Law of Attraction in action, and always a result of our beliefs and expectations. IOW It’s all good and it all counts.
One last thing I’d like to share here before I go…oops, two things: First, after writing about how I want to live a ridiculously wealthy and luxurious lifestyle and that I really don’t want to work in order to get it, I revisited the idea of winning the lottery–something that I’ve long since written off for fear that some unsavory people from a somewhat dark time in my life would come after me. But as I mentioned above, it’s becoming so True for me that I really do create my own reality, that the fear is diminishing greatly around that subject, knowing the only way anyone can harm me is if I choose to allow them to. So that’s an improvement. Even if I don’t win the lottery, I think it’s good to keep all channels open for the abundance to come in the quickest and easiest way, whatever that turns out to be. And here’s something else: As I was thinking about this, I imagined myself winning, the feeling of having won, but I didn’t just imagine it, I literally had the physical, mental, and emotional experience of it. It was exhilarating!
The lesson here, if I’m able to make sense of it in words, is this: You know how when you think of your ideal self, or whatever you want to manifest–is it a vision/experience that feels kind of distant in your head, or is it a present-tense, full blown, full-body experience that you’re having? The difference, I realized last night, is the difference between “Acting As If” and daydreaming. That distance in your head between your desire and you is the same distance that is holding you and it apart in your reality. IOW Acting as if means really, truly, acting/feeling/thinking as if in full-blown living real-time right now reality. This is the first time I experienced this difference, and now that I know it and can reproduce it, I have a feeling it’s going to make a HUUUUUGE difference in the time it takes me to manifest things from now on.
OK, Here’s thing two, and the last thing for now: I happened upon a post from Coby Marie the other day in which she was recommending a book to someone else, “A Happy Pocket Full of Money” by David Cameron Gikandi. Just thinking about the name makes me feel good! Anyhoo, he doesn’t say anything we don’t already know, but, like all of the materials and teachings out there, he says it in his own way and, for me at least, on many points, just kind of brings those concepts closer to home. For instance, he explains that if we don’t have a particular intention/desire/focus on something, the creation of it in our personal realities sort of defaults back to whatever vibration collective consciousness is offering on the subject. Intrinsically I knew that, but seeing it there in black and white just really made perfect sense out of everything for me–like how there can be so much world/reality going on around us even as we’re first born. Or why so many other things are happening in the world that I don’t have interest in one way or the other. Good stuff I tell ya!
There’s a lot of other good stuff in there about creation and manifestation, especially as it pertains to wealth, so I highly recommend it. If interested in reading it, you can order it on Amazon…or, take advantage of this gift from the Universe and download the PDF for free.
OK, time to go be all kinds of awesome. Have an amazing Monday/Day 7 everyone! And don’t just have an amazing day, BE it!!! Love ya!!!
Well let’s see here…
Coming out of the big body freak out from Fri-Sat, I’m mostly back to normal. Phew! I have to thank everyone again for sending thoughts, energy, and love, you really helped me out big time.
One thing I noticed is, except for a few moments of panic and just sheer frustration from the relentlessness of the pain and spasms, is that I mostly held a positive mental and emotional state in all of this. That in itself is a huge shift for me. Also learned that, at least for me, for right now, my style of quasi-Reiki is still the most effective healing method to use on myself. I love Quantum Entrainment, the simplicity and the take-your-hands-off-of-it-and-let-Source-do-Its-thing-ness of it, but I think for me I need to be more involved. Also could just be as simple as I’m more familiar with the former, so I’m going to keep playing with QE and see where it takes me, while continuing to do the other treatments daily for relief and, hopefully, prevention.
Also noticed that in those moments of panic, my mind came up with all these (ridiculous) reasons why this was happening, many old programs that I thought I’d long let go of. These were not the dominant thoughts throughout the episode, but they did come up, so I think it’s a good idea to tap them out. Didn’t feel up to it today, though, just want to enjoy feeling mostly good in body and mind both, so I’ll address those old programs within the next few days and hopefully zap them for good.
Now I’m coming into a week with high probability for financial contrast. I am looking at it from a perspective of really wanting to prove to myself that the Universe can give me what I need in unexpected ways, so I’m going to do my best to maintain the mental and emotional stance of having and being grateful for having, rather than the old pattern of worrying the crap out of it…because we all know how that’s going to end up, and you know what, I want something different for myself this time around. Surprise and delight me Universe, I’m open and willing!
And now to the elephant in the room, as they say…this freakin’ web design project that I can’t seem to finish. LOL When I first started it I attacked it voraciously…then I got inside my head and changed everything…and again…and then I decided to add many elements that a) meant a bunch more work for me, and, b) were not anything that my client asked for, much less are paying for. What I initially expected to take a few weeks to knock out has turned into a multi-month fiasco because I became so averse to the thing that I couldn’t bring myself to work on it hardly at all for some time now.
Luckily, my client and I have a long history together, and there has been no rush. But she does need it by the end of the month, and Lord knows I need this weight off my shoulders, so this week I’m rededicating myself to this project with fresh, loving energy toward it and with the dominant intention of completing it to her/her husband’s satisfaction and mine as well. That may mean less time here for the week, but then again if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience is that I need balance in my life…this AND that, not this OR that, as Bashar would say. LOL
Another thing I’ve learned from this experience is that I still am not sure what I want to be when I grow up. Aside from me, and free, and abundantly wealthy and healthy and happy and to have luxury experiences. But as far as work, I’m stumped. I mean, I like web design much better than my current job, but would I do it if I didn’t have to for money? No, I’d hire someone else to bring my ideas to life and spend my time doing other things that I enjoy more…like playing on FB with my LOA fam.
And that’s what I’ve been really trying to figure out as I align myself with my wealthy, luxurious experience having self–what would I do if I had all the money in the world? Usually people can figure out what their dream career is from that, but that’s a challenge for me, as I think if I had all the money in the world, I wouldn’t do anything–from a service perspective anyway, and what I’d do would change from day to day. I’d use my time to learn languages and musical instruments and travel and cook and eat and shop and enjoy my pets and decorating my homes and spending time with friends and family…when I think of my ideal life, it’s really all about me, as selfish as that sounds. Basically I think of a house wife without the reliance on a husband for the financial security part. Sure, I’d donate money and some time to things I care about, but the idea of being obligated long term to a project (other than me, the Ultimate Project), really doesn’t fit into my perspective.
One thing I know, is that I would still be actively involved in the LOA community, and all that much more so without any other obligations distracting me, so I think that’s a clue as to the direction I need to be moving in. But, I’m still not clear on exactly how that’s going to play itself out in terms of work/money…I explored coaching, but I don’t feel like it’s for me. I may re-visit writing, but don’t feel led at this timing. Again, I just don’t really want to HAVE to do anything or HAVE to interact with anyone on a regular basis. I guess that’s okay, too, I just HAVE to line up my belief system with the idea of money coming to me easily and effortlessly–quite literally so.
But that will take some doing. So, in the meantime I’m going to continue reading the internet marketing materials that have found their way to me and remain open to a product/products that I feel passionate about, perhaps LOA related even, as a passive/residual income seems to be the closest thing to my ideal that I’ve come across thus far. If nothing else it will keep my mind busy while the Universe does Its thang.
Once again I see I’ve written a book here, I thank you all for your patience with me and willingness to share in this journey, and I so love everything you share with me. I look forward to the unfolding during this next 94 days or so, and how things are going to take shape for me in terms of career/finances; and I’m remaining willing and open to explore all possibilities, even those that I may not yet think I would enjoy or that I’m even aware of. I’m also intent on not being too serious about it or too “in my head,” because I know that it will come in perfect timing, and quite probably it will be the last thing I would have ever expected.
Until next time, thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you all!
Well, I think it did end up blowing my mind, although not in a way I expected or necessarily wanted. The first half of my day was wonderful, did my mantras, rituals, played, enjoyed, ran errands, just great. Then when I attempted to take my nap I was rudely awakened by sharp stabbing pain and spasms from my neck down to groin area, and has been continuing on ever since. When I’m sitting, as I am now, I can position myself well enough to stabilize the muscles and bring it down some in intensity, but it’s been a real challenge to walk–have to take hunched over baby steps LOL–and I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time because the pain is just too intense when I’m laying down.
I realize this is just probably old crap I’m releasing so I’m not too broken up about it, and actually, I’m quite cheerful right now in spite of it all. I wasn’t even going to write about this initially, because I’m really hell bent on keeping my nose out of what is and remaining focused on what it is I want–a strong, healthy, good feeling body, among other things. But, I have a lot to do tonight and I’d love more than anything to get some sleep before hand.
So, I’m writing not just to post results, but as a call for help from anyone who might feel led. I’ve periodically done QE, Reiki, and tapping on myself, but I think I’m too attached to the outcome (and not really able to concentrate that well with the pain) to get enough relief to where I can lay down comfortably enough to sleep. So like I said, if anyone wants to send some energy my way I’d greatly appreciate it.
In the meantime, emotionally I feel great, knowing All Is Well, knowing that I’m releasing a body pattern that no longer serves me, knowing that I have my good feeling body right now, and knowing that I have the unconditional love and support of all of you! Thank you! I appreciate you all, and I appreciate all of it. ?← Older posts
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