Isn’t it toxic to judge toxic people?
True Halloween horror
Recently I encountered a post calling to walk away from toxic family members or friends or colleagues. Wow, 15673 likes! How much people love sharing their experiences with “toxic” mother, or sister, or boss. I see those posts time to time and always wonder, “What’s so enticing to blame toxic people?” My answer is:
Blaming, as a verbal or mental action, is a sort of taking one’s power back. The “victim” validates his/her goodness compared to “toxic” people’s evil.
However, victim mentality keeps people stay victims. “I’m good but weak. They are bad and take advantage of me, help!”
Say Joanna has a boss, who always picks on her, pecking for all real and unreal troubles he has. Joanna get used to feel inferior and when she had enough she leaves her job, to stay far away from her boss. She believes he is toxic, sucking her energy away.
Calling him “toxic” feels like she “knows” his true “poisonous” nature. Her friends tell her to walk away and never return.
Others suggest talking openly to her boss about her feelings. They believe it will resolve the issue and her boss would change his behavior, after learning about treating her unfairly.
She chooses to leave the job. No seeing- no thinking- no pain.
But she took herself with her!
Next thing she would notice, how some other people treat her exactly like her boss. It could be her boyfriend, or a neighbor, or colleague.
While she is thinking that she is a victim of her toxic relationship with her boss, her beliefs will continue attracting her similar situations.
That’s a sad side of continuing discussing the “toxic” people, because it it will easily lead one to depression and despair.
I don’t say, “Don’t blame or judge!” because it is a part of feeling better process. However, the process gradually should go to slightly higher vibes: frustrated, sad, bored, looking for wisdom, hopeful, starting thinking of joy, dreaming of happiness, looking for feelings of appreciation etc.
The shocking truth about “toxic” people is that the “victim” attracts them. That’s true life horror, scarier than any Halloween story.
Do you agree with me?